Get over yourself already

I already said this, but I can't say it enough (but twice is good, ok). Thank you. Your comments and emails have been so touching and I have read and re-read every one. I hope we can keep this super fun dialogue going!

Now there are tons of ways of getting over fear, or learning about being brave and all that stuff, but I don't know shit. I only know from my own life, so I am happy to offer you some straight up facts. Fact one: The best advice anyone has ever given you is to get the over yourself. No one cares about you, or thinks about you as much as you do. They (people in general, the very people who you are scared will judge you when they see your art, those people..ok) don't care if your art sucks, they don't even care if you are successful unless they are comparing their success to yours...it is a sucky reality, but humans be humans yo. There is a way to hump this hump though, and here it is...Get over yourself again.

I know...but listen. Don't focus on yourself or your ego. Put your energy (when you are engaging with other people, even in your head) outside of yourself and your opinions, and put it on other people. Think about them. Support them and encourage them and even love them and be genuine about it. Example...you are chatting with a new person and they are all "Dude, my art is so awesome, I make these glitter bird cages with skeletons in them wearing feather boas..." You are probably like "um, you and your art sucks" and even as you try to be nice to them, your not, you want to get away from that freaky bitch and it probably shows. Instead...remove your opinions from the equation, don't judge her (ok, try not to, I am even judging her a little right now...). Her art doesn't define her, just like your art doesn't define you, so why have negative thoughts about it? Just be supportive and genuine. Don't care so much about what you think, cuz who the hell are you anyway?

Try to think this way even when you are on Pinterest or trolling around the Internet and see a blog or some new art that isn't something you might gravitate towards. Don't even think bad things about it, and never say anything out loud that you wouldn't want that person to hear you say. I know I sound like a fucking Kindergarten teacher, but seriously, you have to project good energy out of yourself like a rainbow out of your every orifice because you will get it back. I promise.

You will be surprised how much more support you get when you become the kind of person who supports others, and this erases fear. At least it does for me. If you want some help in this area, try reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. This book is all about being yourself, without your ego. Like step back and look at your ego and be all, fuck you ego, your not the boss of me. One of my favorite quotes is this:
"When you don't cover up the world with words and labels, a sense of the miraculous returns to your life" 

 So basically fear comes from you, so stop it! Here is one more line from A New Earth that really resonates with me because when he talks about the ego, I am conscious of the fact that our ego is what we are trying to protect when we are scared, and ego is is what motivates other people to be negative (also makes us negative, but you get my drift.)


"Nonreaction to the ego in others is one of the most effective ways not only of going beyond ego in yourself but also of dissolving the collective human ego. But you can only be in a state of nonreaction if you can recognize someone's behavior as coming from the ego, as being an expression of the collective human dysfunction. When you realize it's not personal, there is no longer a compulsion to react as if it were."

 I kinda struggled with this one because basically if you want to be fearless, you have to decide to be fearless. That is really all there is to it. But there are other things I think about that help.

1. Change your perspective: Think about how most of the people on this earth don't even have clean water to drink. Imagine how hard it is to be fearless in Syria...or Afghanistan. It kind of makes me sick to think about other people's misery to make myself feel better, so that isn't the point. The point it is to focus on what is good!

2. Make a mantra for yourself of what you are grateful for! Wake up every day, or right before you upload your work for the internet and just focus on all of the wonderful things in your life! Your health, safety, family, whatever it may be.


Since we are getting all touchy feely here, lets talk about self help books. I like em. Personally I have a problem with spiraling negative thinking. Like picture this: I am driving my car, going to work, it's a beautiful day but I can't stop fantasizing about my husband dying or something awful, by the time I get to work I am a bitter old lady who never found love again...and dies alone in a shitty apartment no one ever visits me in...it's that bad. I sometimes have to put in some headphones with Tony Robins or Eckhart Tolle just so they can talk me off the ledge. I have had some really great success with NLP, check it out. I learned how to stop having recurring bad dreams b/c of those people...I love them. I mention this because again, our self obsessions are the real problem, at least to me.


Last but not least, I am going to post some interviews I have put together with some very inspiring ladies, but I wanted to mention my friend Jessica Swift. She is simply one of the most positive people I know, and I love reading her blog because she loves to talk about motivation among other things. These posts are really cool because she shows her work as she takes an E course on being fearless in yourself and your art.


I would love to hear about how you get over your fears! Also, what are you scared of? How is your fear blocking your flow? Who would you be if fear were out of the picture?