Lets spend a little extra time together

So happy to be me again!

Fall makes us want to get to work! Doesn't it? I mean the heat is finally ebbing, and the crisp air and smoky breezes make me think of high school football games, and homework, and cool school projects (nerd!). This fall coincides with a turning point in my life, a pretty big one. I feel extra reved up and ready to go!

We have been landscaping the ol homestead. Can't wait to show you when its all done!

 O and I have decided to stay in Atlanta. For now. When he is ready to sell his business (about five years) we will be in a position to choose our next location! We may relocate, or maybe we will become bi-coastal, or bi-continental. I have a taste for adventure, change and re-invention while O is more practical and less spontaneous. I think our plan is a good one for both of us.

I never realized that my desk is basically a shrine to my love.

On the baby front, you all know we plan to adopt. Its going to be fun to take you along on our adventure, and I am looking forward to that stage in our lives. It will be a bit more forward still though. Our plan is to begin the adoption process in one or two years. (We are going to go with an agency that has a very fast placement rate, so no waiting around for years and years like a lot of agencies. Yes, it costs more than a regular adoption, but as O says: "if you are going to splurge, this is the place for it!") I promise to be open and honest about all of this stuff when the time comes.

Our first child:  Coco the dog. I kinda hate it when people say that about their dogs, but I love her!

For now I am happy to be getting back into myself little by little (still can't sleep too well, and its taking me waaaay longer to get used to the pill this time around. fucking pill.) But I am working out again! and I have energy for a regular day of activities almost every single day. Plus no more throwing of things and weeping. Anyway I was telling my friend Ruth about this and I suddenly realized that I kinda feel guilty that we decided to wait to adopt.

The studio never looks this good! I use that book to prop my notes on when I have a couch meeting. 

I sorta feel like we are supposed to jump right into it. My friend Katie once told me that you have to mourn your lost fertility, get over it, then start working on adoptions. I didn't believe her when she told me that, at the very start of my fertility slog, but now I see the wisdom in it (she is very wise, Katie). I could say that I am mourning, but the truth of it is closer to...stalling. I love my freedom, I love not being broke anymore, and building a nice fluffy financial future for our tiny family. I like buying nice clothes (or at least I will like it at some point). I wanna travel more, I wanna sleep in and I wanna spend unhealthy amounts of time working on my business because I lovelovelove it! Why do I feel guilty about this ya'll? Why do I think I shouldn't be a new mom in my mid to late 30's? I want to do that...(and I will, you beter believe it) but why does it feel weird?

I want to know what you think ladies (and gentlemans). In the meantime I am excited to say that this blog is actually going to be evolving, growing up and expanding, just like me! I know I have said something like that before, but now I have a studio manager! I can't wait for you guys to meet her, she is great. She will make it so that I have more time for you, and I am so happy about that.

outtakes from our studio photo shoot (with Krist the photo genius). I was sfitzing like a stuffed donkey that day, b/c it was my first month on the fertility drugs.

I am evolving personally, and this bog should reflect that, right? I want to talk with you about lots of things, like color, fashion, interiors, art, entrepreneurs, artists, love, personal shit, business shit, drinking! fooding! You know? I mean, I spend a lot of time thinking about beauty, and other things besides painting, so lets all hang out together and have some fun. I know that you want to know about business things, and creative stuff too, and I have plenty of posts in draft on these subjects.

Sometimes I felt paralyzed with not knowing what to talk about with you. I wanted to please everyone, but no more. I don't care! I choose to be un-paralyzed, and I choose to talk about whatever I want to. I know that some people will be offended by all kinds of hootenany we talk about here, including money (I kinda feel this constant oppression about money! I can't wait to talk to you guys about that, I expect a lively discussion.)

I wish I could hug all of you!