Wednesday, April 10

How do you cope when you HATE someone? Oh and Brussels!

There is a dude in my hood who makes me feel gross and threatened by always saying I look fine and paying too much attention to me. He is always hanging around, and seems lazy but not on drugs. Mostly he seems kinda harmless. He followed me down the street in his truck telling me how fine I looked and so forth for a whole block while I walked my dogs. I said "fine," "thanks" and didn't look at him. I think my body language was pretty evidently disgusted by him.


This must end. I find myself trying to avoid going out the front door in case he is there. Thank goodness he doesn't live on my street, just visits the house across the street a lot. I usually wear yoga pants to walk in, but lately I find myself reaching for my "ass-masking jeans." Part of me wants to say screw him and I am wearing my yoga pants, and part of me just wants to be inconspicuous.

How do I deal with this? Confront him? Ignore him? Police? Help me channel my inner Julia Shugarbaker!

Ok, lets move on to something positive shall we? I am going to Brussels! Yup. Just randomly decided to join O after a business trip he is finishing up in Antwerp next week. We are meeting to have a romantic little trip and eat our weight in frites. Not to mention mussels, beer (not my favorite but I am willing to learn about beer,) museums, chocolate, historical homes, and quirky art. I am so excited! I found us an apartment real fast. Wanna see?


I can't wait to have coffee on that little patio in the mornings. I will be gone only about six days, but it has been so fun planning this trip on such short notice! Usually I would have said no, I have too much work to do, but I am making positive changes in my life, and being more spontaneous is one of them. Anyone have any recommendations?

I felt way better after I wrote that post about the icky guy. Mostly because it helps to talk about stuff that bothers us, and also because I am trying to confront things that make me uncomfortable in an effort to be more present in my life, and brood less. I couldn't just say "hey, we are going to Brussels.." because it didn't feel honest. I couldn't just complain because it felt like spreading my bad juju...So this is my compromise. Seriously, let me know if there is anything amazing in Brussels that I must see. You guys have the best advice, the best taste and the best taste in blogs to read.

Its always a good idea to make a happy list too :)

Also, I switched to Bloglovin, and I love it. Reader used to sometime upload my posts before they were finished being edited, then never refresh the feed, so my half written post would be up forever. It was a pain because I never knew when it was going to happen, and also, I like to edit my posts after I am finished with the first draft. I a not a natural writer, and I need to hash stuff out as I go along. Bloglovin is great because it takes you right to the blog home page, which I really like. From there you can change the blog you want to see from the drop down menue on the top left. Its magical.


16 comments:

  1. Awww, I hate that! It's awful feeling uncomfortable like that, especially in your own neighborhood. I think he needs to be told straight-up that you don't appreciate his comments and would like for him to leave you alone. And if he doesn't, I would consider reporting him for sexual harassment. Or are you friendly with the people across the street? Maybe talking with them about how he makes you uncomfortable would help...?

    On a side note, (speaking of things that makes someone uncomfortable) not sure that the 'he is a black guy' comment was necessary? Harassment (unfortunately) comes from people of all colors...

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    1. I was thinking the same thing about confronting him, but being polite about it. I am also going to tell the people across the street. I understand what you mean abou the "black guy " comment. But. I am not sure how to explain. I have had this kind of harassment a million times before, and for me personally it is always a black man and so I guess that is why I thought to say so. You know what. I am going to ask that very question, and see what comes back :) Thanks for your perspective Meghan.

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    2. Thanks for your feedback! Have a great time in Brussels--you've given me a bad case of wanderlust :)

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  2. Hi Michelle.
    First of all - I just gotta say that I love love love your work. Major girl crushin' here. Hoping your pieces will be coming around to show in nyc sometime.

    Now about the jerk: I understand your anger here. This has happened to me multiple times from men of all ethnicity and all ages (gross!!). It is basically harassment and most women don't speak up about it. There has been a lot of construction lately around my apartment and the construction guys are big culprits. One day this guy was being especially inappropriate looking me up/down making kissy sounds and I just HAD IT. I YELLED at him and told him it was inappropriate, he needed to learn respect for women, didn't his mother ever teach him better, etc. He didn't apologize but was silent, probably surprised that a seemingly quite girl just called him out. I think most of these perverted jerks just don't get reprimanded enough.

    Wear your yoga pants(!), walk your dogs whenever you damn want, and if he bugs you again confront him and speak your mind. Be firm! (Of course I would also be sure you're safe, it's not dark out, etc. You can never be too careful).

    Good luck!

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    1. Thanks! Great advice, and good for you! Yelling at him and speaking your mind. I felt silly for whining about my little problem, but then I figured we have all been there. Thanks for the props on my painting, I appreciate it!

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  3. Your trip sounds amazing! Where did you find that fab apartment?

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    1. I know right! I am so excited. I found it on Trip Advisor. Just search hotels, then specialty lodging. You get great reviews and stuff.

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  4. Your trip sounds amazing! Where did you find that fab apartment?

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  5. maybe you should put a copy of the quote from your post on his vehicle while he's visiting your neighbors?

    I hate when this happens. I have no idea what you should do. there was a guy in high school who tortured me for weeks following me around, constantly grabbing my butt, saying icky stuff. it was awful. I confronted him several times but it seemed only to make him more resolved to drive me insane. finally I told my dad about it. I don't know what he did or who he talked to but the harassment went away immediately. I don't suppose you can tell on him to O. sorry you are having to deal with this. what is wrong with people?! oy.

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    1. Oh my goodness! That sounds really terrible! So good that you had your dad to turn to. Thanks for commiserating girl. I appreciate it! I have decided to just tell him to stop, and then if that doesn't work O will get involved, along with other community members. It will be fine, what you had to endure in school sounds really bad!

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  6. You are the most generous artist recognizing others. You are also an inspiration to my art, I love your color combos.Have a great trip! Also, wear the yoga pants!!

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  7. You are the most generous artist recognizing others. I am always inspired by your color combos. As for the creep, be careful ! Perhaps he sees his behavior as a compliment and not a threat. I would let him know how you feel and warn him about the next steps. Enjoy your trip!

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  8. What about reacting in an exasperated tone rather than angry, something like, "Seriously, dude? Aren't you getting tired of this? I know I am. Come on, enough's enough. I get it. I'm hot. Whatever. Move along." Not really joking, but more of a lighter tone. Might help diffuse the situation? I don't know, just an idea.

    Woo hoo on Brussels - good for you for being spontaneous! The apartment looks amazing!

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  9. You are going to have the best time in Brussels! Last time I went to Europe, it was my most favorite place we went. Oh, and if you can make it up to Bruges even for one day, GO! It's a bit touristy, but for some reason I found it super magical. Have so much fun!!!

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  10. Oh my god I loved this post. The Ecard cracked me up so hard. Totally relate to the experience and the part about just being authentic. Is that what our 30s are about? Thanks for the honesty. I really appreciate it.

    The trip and apartment sounds fabulous!

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  11. Dude, you've got to speak his language! If he's rolling in a car next to you, I can't imagine you're going to stop and have a discussion on he's making you feel objectified and threatened. Tell him to F the hell off! "Seriously, dude, F off - I'm sick of this, leave me the hell alone"! He has no problem sharing his thoughts - you shouldn't either!! You don't seem meek - don't let him make you be! Yo.

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Yay! Your gonna reach out to me! I am so excited. I have tried to make commenting here easy for both of us. So please try your hardest to read the squiggly letters so I can chat with you.

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