Friday, July 16

WARNING: Rant including cuss words


ARRRGGG, do you have a soliciting problem? We do, since we live in an in town hood, close to public transportation. People who want money, who want to talk politics, to sell me bullshit, and bring me to Jesus. JESUS, it is annoying.

I have resisted putting up a sign, mostly b/c we also have neighbors come by, and we don't want to alienate anyone. But when people do come, the dogs to bonkers and it interrupts my work, and that pisses.me.the.f#$%^ OFF!

This is what I would like my sign to say:


Hey YOU, don't even think about it, turn around and go home or I will come after you with something sharp and dangerous, and that is a promise. I don't want your God, or your shit, and if you make my dogs bark, you.better.run. Ass hole. 

I wonder if I can change my door bell ring to a shotgun loading sound, or a real shotgun loading. WHAT? It is my God Given right to have arms! Oh wait, Bear arms. DAMN STRAIGHT.

What does it say about my personality that I know for a fact booby trapping your house is illegal? I was fantasising about a Bond style trapping system with trigger release sleeping gas and homing BB guns. Sigh.

It is what, 1pm, and I am already looking at that bottle of wine in the fridge with longing, pure, x-rated longing.

4 comments:

  1. Ahhh. the modern world. where people can knock on your door, call your phone, bombard your e-mail and fax and even your cell at any given time for any given reason.
    I think that is quite a lovely sign and would look grand on your front door. You may even want to slap an NRA sticker on there for good measure. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJuly 16, 2010

    better put that sign up. this is kind of sad...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am the rudest door answerer in Morningside. Girls Scouts during cookie season and neighbors get invited in. Jehovah's Witnesses get a polite so long. Every one else gets a "We're not interested, please don't come back." And if they are slow they get a "Please get off of my property." Cell phone in hand pre-dialed to 911.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Haha! I am thrown towards the same reactions. Plus I used to live alone, and solicitors would ring my doorbell, which, frankly, becomes a safety issue. Friends will text or call. Delivery men will announce themselves. Everyone else, take a hike!

    I like the NRA Membership sticker idea... or an attack dog sign?

    ReplyDelete

Yay! Your gonna reach out to me! I am so excited. I have tried to make commenting here easy for both of us. So please try your hardest to read the squiggly letters so I can chat with you.

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