I have really had a lesson in taking my own advice lately let me tell you. (can I just say that I cringe when I read back over this post b/c there are so many "I"s.)
I have been forcing myself to really examine what my priorities are because I don't have time for everything, in fact it feels like I don't have time for anything. Last week, every single day I came home so tired that I would just sit and quietly cry. My entire body and brain were just finished, just done. I don't think I even looked at my dogs the whole week. Poor dogs, poor husband.
This happens to me much more since I had the AF issue a few years ago, and it is accompanied by a strain in my throat that is so painful I can't swallow. My feeling is that it has something to do with the throat
Chakra (that shit is for real ya'll).
"It is the mouthpiece by which you communicate your truths. Energy from
the fifth chakra is rightly associated with a pure blue color –
representing the ‘true blue’ essence of your soul.
When you express your
thoughts, beliefs, and opinions to others, you are sharing this essence
through your energy."
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Van G |
I get this feeling when I push myself to the point of having nothing left to give. I know I should not do it, but I don't mean to, it just happens. The truth is I don't have whatever it is that most people have that let them work all day and then take care of shit at home. I can't work 40 hours a week and then come home and take care of everything, and I don't even have kids! It fills me with a cold dread thinking of adding more people to my overstuffed life. But that is for another time. Alternitavely O is like a mac truck, he can go and go and then wake up at 5am and just keep going!
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helen frankenthaler, 1928-2011
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But what am I actually
doing that takes up so much time? Dude. Fucking thinking! I know, right, crazy. I think too much. Writing a detailed schedule for the week on Sunday nights really helps.
Making lists, having "focused" time is essential (like right now I am "focused" on my work and nothing is distracting me. Not my phone dinging with messages, not the inexplicable lesbian drum circle happening two doors down, not O asking me a million questions that I totally do not respond to ((he knows this is my focus time, but he can't help himself on account of being a man, he can't help himself...))
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Iris Van Dongen |
So basically I have had to come up with ways to really figure out what I am good at, and stick to that. I really enjoy learning about composition and texture, it gets me all excited. I like looking for new color combinations, and creating large archives of interesting ideas in art that I want to think about. Whenever I am stuck, or feeling un-inspired I just sit back and look over my folders and it gets my gears moving. I also really like strategizing about how to make my business better, make the daily processes smoother and implementing steps to make my major goals come true.
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Frantisek Kupka
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Of course I really love to paint, and I try very hard to
foster an environment and a cadence to my life that allows me to paint the way I like it best: free and clear and working toward a goal for each painting to explore something new or to re-visit something dear to me. For example right now I am taking a hiatus from commissions, it is risky because commissions pay the bills around here. I am sooo tired though! I was watching helplessly as my creativity left me like a slow drip, and the joy of painting turned to drudgery. As the commissions have slowed (I still have a few to finish) I am feeling better and better, mostly because I can devote more time to what I really love, and am best at: painting to explore my ideas. When I am confident that I have a strategy for taking on more work, I will start painting commissions again.
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Frantisek Kupka. Le Rouge a Levres II. 1908 |
When I tought about writing about "honing in on what you are good at" I thought about the many makers who contact me with this question, "I make so many different things, and draw or paint in so many different styles, how do I pick something to sell?"
Well, I usually offer the advice that
everything you make will look like you made it, so just make whatever you enjoy making. Eventually if you put it all out there you will see that some things sell better than others, and as you progress as an artist, you will naturally evolve your work and learn what sells and what people are most drawn to in your creations. It goes back to my credo that you just have to quit fucking looking around with your finger in your mouth and jump in already. I personally have been making and creating for so long that I truly believe painting is just the distilled essence of creation for my brain; an immediate and tactile way to live inside of what I constantly
think about. It will be the same for you. I would say I spent most of my spare time since I was a child creating art sooo....don't know what else to say on that.
All images (except for the chakra tutorial) from my
art inspiration pinterest.
Also, this post is sort of all over the place, the more I write about these topics, the more I think...well what is left to say? I mean you just have to get up and and go. Like we say around here "Shoot now, aim later." But, I try, so I hope you enjoy.